I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
