Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
