I have demons in me.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
