I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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