So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize