She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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