SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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