If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
this just has baby written all over it
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
