i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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