Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Randomize
