im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Randomize
