I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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