My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize