i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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