Christians are straight up FREAKS
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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