I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
