you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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