I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
