just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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