I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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