We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
