I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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