Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Actions speak louder than pants.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
