party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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