I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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