Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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