The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
