I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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