ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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