'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
