she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
