i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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