Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
