spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
