video games are the ultimate cock blocker
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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