I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
