KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
