Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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