yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
