My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize