I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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