That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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