Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
