You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Randomize
