Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She tied me up with her honor cords...
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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