found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
