U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You're a waste of cheezeits
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Randomize
