People in love make me want to vomit
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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