I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
