I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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