Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
