I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
