Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
