What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
