what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
