Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
