Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
